Here Are the Mental Skills I've Applied to My Own Skating, as a Therapist with a Masters in Sport Psychology

You'd think that as a therapist with a Master's in Sport Psychology, I'd have my mental game completely figured out, right?

Well… not exactly!

The truth is, knowing the tools and actually applying them are two very different things.

As a former competitive figure skater who has returned to the ice as an adult, I've experienced firsthand just how challenging the mental side of skating can be.

I still get frustrated when I pop a jump, compare myself to other skaters, put unnecessary pressure on myself, and have moments when my thoughts get the best of me.

But here's something I've learned: Having a strong mental game doesn't mean never struggling mentally. It means learning how to respond when you do.

Over the years, I've worked on applying the same mental skills I teach other athletes to my own skating. Here are some of the biggest lessons I've learned along the way.

1. Being Kinder to Myself

One of the biggest changes I've made is how I talk to myself on the ice.

As skaters, we can be incredibly hard on ourselves. We expect perfection, get frustrated when things don't go as planned, and sometimes say things to ourselves that we'd never say to a teammate or friend.

I've learned to recognize when I'm being overly critical and try to respond with a little more self-compassion.

Self-compassion isn't about making excuses or lowering your standards. It's about recognizing that mistakes are part of learning and that beating yourself up doesn't necessarily make you a better skater.

In fact, research suggests that self-compassion can support motivation, resilience, and our ability to bounce back from setbacks.

2. Letting Go of Unrealistic Expectations

I used to step onto the ice expecting myself to land every jump, even if it was something I had only recently started learning. And when I didn't? Frustration!

The problem wasn't necessarily my skating ability. It was the unrealistic expectations I was placing on myself. Now, I try to approach each practice with a different mindset. Rather than expecting myself to land every jump perfectly, my expectation is simply to TRY.

Of course, I still have goals and things I want to accomplish, but I've learned to focus more on what I can control, like my effort, attitude, and willingness to keep trying.

This has taken a tremendous amount of unnecessary pressure off my shoulders.

You don't need to lower your goals. Sometimes you just need to adjust your expectations of how you'll get there.

3. Practicing Constructive Reflection

Have you ever finished a skating practice and immediately started thinking about everything that went wrong? Maybe you fell on your double Salchow, popped your Axel, or struggled with a spin. It's easy to focus on the mistakes and completely overlook everything that went well.

I've been there!

Now, after practices and competitions, I make an effort to reflect on what went well BEFORE thinking about what needs improvement. This doesn't mean ignoring mistakes. It means looking at the whole picture.

A simple reflection might include three questions:

• What went well today?

• What is one thing I can improve?

• What will I focus on next practice?

This helps me recognize progress while still identifying opportunities to improve.

Remember, you can acknowledge what needs work without dismissing everything you've accomplished.

4. Having a Plan Before Stepping on the Ice

I used to spend a lot of my practice sessions procrastinating. I'd feel like I needed to warm up every jump in a specific order before I could work on the harder ones. By the time I finally got to those jumps, I'd already used up so much energy and sometimes even ran out of time!

Now, I try to create a flexible plan before stepping onto the ice.

I identify what I want to work on, prioritize the important elements, and make sure I'm using my practice time intentionally. The key word here is flexible. Some days, things don't go according to plan, and that's okay. Having a plan doesn't mean you can't adjust it. It simply gives your practice a little more direction and purpose.

5. Stopping the Good Practice vs. Bad Practice Labels

We've all said it.

"That was such a bad practice."

But was the entire practice actually bad? Or did a few things not go the way you wanted?

I've been working on moving away from labeling my practices as either good or bad. Not every day will be a great skating day. Sometimes your jumps feel off, your legs are tired, or things just aren't clicking.

But that doesn't mean the entire session was a waste.

Maybe you learned something about your technique. Maybe you showed up despite feeling unmotivated. Maybe you finally figured out why a jump wasn't working. There's often something valuable to take away, even from a frustrating practice.

Progress isn't always measured by how many jumps you land.

6. Challenging My Thoughts

One of the things I still catch myself doing is worrying about what other people think of my skating. For example, I might hesitate to attempt a jump when someone is watching because a thought pops into my head:

"What if I fall? They're going to think I suck."

Sound familiar?

But here's the thing: I can't read other people's minds. I don't actually know what they're thinking, and chances are they're probably more focused on their own skating than mine!

When these thoughts show up, I try to recognize them for what they are: thoughts, not facts.

I might ask myself:

"Do I actually know that's what they're thinking?"

"Is this thought helping me?"

"What would I do right now if I wasn't so worried about being judged?"

And then I challenge myself to try the jump anyway.

The goal isn't necessarily to eliminate every negative thought. It's to learn that you can still take action even when those thoughts show up.

7. Building an Identity Outside of Skating

This might be one of the most important lessons I've learned. For a long time, skating was a huge part of who I was. And while skating will always hold a special place in my life, I've learned that I'm so much more than just a figure skater.

I'm also a therapist, a scoliosis advocate, a wife, a dog mom, a cat mom, a daughter, a friend, and so much more.

Why does this matter?

Because when your entire identity is tied to your sport, every mistake, disappointing performance, or setback can start to feel like a reflection of your worth as a person. But your skating performance doesn't determine your value.

You can love your sport, work incredibly hard, and have big competitive goals while still recognizing that you're a whole person outside of it.

You are a person who skates. Skating is something you do, not everything you are.

Even Sport Psychology Professionals Have to Practice Their Mental Skills

I think one of the biggest misconceptions about mental performance is that once you learn the tools, you'll never struggle with nerves, frustration, self-doubt, or pressure again. But that's simply not how it works.

I have a Master's in Sport Psychology, I'm a therapist, and I've spent years learning about the mental side of performance. And guess what? I still have to practice these skills myself! Some days, they're easier to apply than others.

The difference is that I'm becoming more aware of my thoughts, emotions, and behaviours, and I'm learning how to respond to them in ways that support my skating rather than work against it.

Mental skills are just like physical skating skills.

You wouldn't expect to land a double Axel perfectly after learning it once, so why would you expect to master your mindset after trying a strategy one time? It takes practice, patience, and consistency. And sometimes, even when you know exactly what you're supposed to do, it's still hard. That's part of being human.

Want to Strengthen Your Mental Game?

If you're a competitive figure skater who struggles with nerves, pressure, self-doubt, or frustration, you're certainly not alone.

The good news is that mental skills can be learned and practiced, just like your jumps, spins, and skating skills.

Through Performance Positive, I help figure skaters develop the mental skills to navigate competition nerves, build confidence, and feel more in control of their skating.

Learn more about Practice to Podium, my mental performance training program designed specifically for competitive figure skaters.

Because you deserve to enjoy your skating, not just worry about how you're performing.