Figure Skating, A Love Hate Relationship

September 19, 2026

This is definitely a long story, so grab a coffee or a juice box, whatever you drink, sit back, and relax because I’m about to take you through my experience with figure skating. In short, I would describe it as a love-hate relationship.

I started skating when I was about four years old. I remember asking my parents if I could quit when I was still in CanSkate. For some reason that I can’t explain, I didn’t really like skating, and there was one coach I was particularly unfond of. I literally used to headbutt this coach. (I was a bit of a demon child.) Nevertheless, I continued skating and progressed. I was very successful when I was in Junior Bronze STARSkate, landing my double jumps and winning every competition. I remember moving up a level and coming in third instead of first. The girl I wanted to beat won, and I was in tears, not very sportsmanlike, I know. Things were different back then. It often felt like we were all against each other, an “every person for themselves” kind of environment. Now, I see much more support, with skaters cheering one another on even when they are competing against each other.

Anyway, at this point, I loved skating. I couldn’t get enough of it. During recess at school, I would practice my off-ice jumps instead of playing with friends. I couldn’t imagine taking any time away from the ice. My parents even found ice time for me in Pennsylvania when we travelled there for my scoliosis treatment. Nothing kept me off the ice, not even being diagnosed with scoliosis at 11 years old.

I loved skating so much that it was all we talked about. Everything I watched on YouTube was related to skating, and I doodled pictures of skating while I was at school.

In Grade 8, we moved to a nearby town. It was super cool because I could walk to the rink in five minutes. It was literally beside our house, and my school was across the street. Instead of eating lunch at school, I would attend a figure skating drop-in session. I would go to the rink during my lunch break and return as soon as school ended. When I started high school, however, I grew tired of this routine. I wanted to make friends. I wanted to be the “popular kid.” More than anything, I wanted to be accepted and feel like I belonged. That was difficult when I was barely at school because I was always at the rink. I couldn’t participate in extracurricular activities or join clubs because skating took up all my time. However, skating did teach me incredible time-management skills because I had to complete my homework on top of training.I remember that whenever I skipped skating for school, I would get in trouble. That seemed a little backwards to me.

By Grade 11, I had only one or two classes in person, and the rest were online. My coach moved to a different club, which was a 30- to 40-minute drive away. We also trained on additional ice that was almost an hour away. By then, I had started pair skating, which was something I had really pushed for and wanted to do. I found my own partner. Finding a partner is challenging in general, but I was a reverse skater, meaning I jumped in the “abnormal” direction, clockwise. That wasn’t common at the time, so my partner moved from Alberta.

I think I wanted to start pairs because it felt more exciting. It was also my solution for staying busy during all the ice time I had. My skating partner would pick me up from school at 11:00 a.m. We would drive to Ayr and skate from noon until approximately 2:00 p.m. Then, we would drive to Cambridge and return to the ice from around 2:30 or 3:00 p.m. until 5:00 p.m. If we had a lift class, we sometimes got off the ice a little earlier. Immediately afterward, we had an hour-long fitness class. This was my routine every day from Monday to Friday. On top of that, I skated for approximately an hour and a half on Saturday mornings. I also had a REALLY bad competition experience before I even started pair skating, but we won’t get into that right now because it deserves its own story.

Anyway, when I was a singles skater, I trained during the same sessions as the pair skaters, which was cool. However, I was expected to remain on the ice when the pairs left for weight training or lift class. I didn’t know what to do with all that time, so I circled and circled because I had more than enough time to complete everything I needed to do.

That bad competition experience also shattered my confidence. I constantly popped my jumps and developed an intense fear of failure… probably also explains the amount of circling I did. Pairs helped because when you’re jumping side by side, you kind of HAVE to do the jump. There was just enough pressure because I couldn’t make my partner circle the rink 10 times before attempting a jump. It helped, but it didn’t solve all my problems.

Before I continue, I want to say that my coach was a lovely person who did so much for me. I don’t think I ever truly showed her how much I appreciated that. As I got older and struggled more, I probably developed more of an attitude. I imagine I became frustrating to coach, and I think she began to lose patience with me. I don’t blame her for that. She would sit me down on the bench by the boards and try to give me pep talks. She believed in me so much and thought I had more potential, but I didn’t believe in myself. I don’t think any of those pep talks worked.

Come to think of it, I believe I started struggling well before that awful competition experience because I started seeing a mental performance consultant before that competition. My mom would drive an hour to take me to see this woman. I remember sitting in her office in tears. I felt guilty that my mom had driven so far, I knew how expensive it was, and I didn’t want to feel as though I had a problem.I was so resistant to seeing her that I don’t think any of it worked. I was getting in my own way, but I couldn’t see it.

I was frustrated and anxious. I remember landing my double Axel cleanly on one foot, and instead of feeling excited, I felt a wave of panic. “Oh, sh!t. Now I have to do it again.” 

I felt like I had far too much ice time, and I was frustrated. Then, I started getting injured. During one session, all the pairs were working on throw triple Salchows. I fell repeatedly on the same spot on my butt. I needed to change my technique or make some kind of adjustment because repeatedly falling in exactly the same way wasn’t helping.

I remember coming home from that session in so much pain that I sat directly on an ice pack and attempted to freeze my butt. I had bruises around my groin and down the back of my leg. I had torn my hamstring. I went to physiotherapy, where I received laser therapy. My physiotherapist wrapped me from my hip down to my knee, and then I was told I could skate. Looking back, all I can think is, “OMG, NO!” I wish someone had intervened. I don’t think that physiotherapist understood the sport I was in or how stubborn I would be. The very next day, I attempted triple toes and repeatedly fell on my butt again. After one fall, I screamed a little in pain and got off the ice.

I should have taken a break, but I didn’t. The dominant and very unhelpful mindset was that if I missed skating or fitness, I was a slacker. I started calling myself a slacker so often that I eventually believed it. It still wasn’t enough. I became even more frustrated.

Looking back now, I can see the anxiety, the unhealthy thought patterns, the frustration, and the burnout. I HATED skating.

A couple of months later, shortly before our second Nationals as a pair team, we were skating a simulation for Sectionals. The double twist was the first element in our program. My upper body was facing my partner on the landing, but my right leg stepped out, creating a twisting motion that had me CRYING instantly.

I had torn my ACL and meniscus. I didn’t know that at the time because I didn’t have an MRI until two months later. However, I struggled to walk properly and couldn’t fully straighten my leg. This time, I did take a break. I literally couldn’t skate and could barely walk. Two weeks later, I returned to the rink to meet with my pairs coach. He said, “I saw how you walked down the stairs, and I’m not letting you back on the ice like that.” He was right.

My partner wasn’t very good at communicating, but honestly, he probably didn’t have the best experience living in our house and skating with me. He also worked hard, working overnight shifts at McDonald’s and Tim Hortons while skating throughout the day. I can imagine that his experience with skating wasn’t particularly pleasant either. Eventually, he packed up his things and left. There was some drama, but we won’t get into that. I wish I had had a better relationship with my skating partner. I wish we could call each other friends, but it felt far from that.

I remember one time when we were skating laps around the rink and he started opening up to me about something. It felt like we were finally making a breakthrough. Then, one of our coaches yelled at us to stop chatting and start skating. I was so angry. I don’t think our coaches realized what was happening at that moment. We were finally communicating, attempting to strengthen our partnership, and building trust, and that moment was slashed. 

That was a bit of a side tangent. Back to the ACL injury. My coach refused to let me back on the ice. My skating partner left, and that was it. Finally, some relief. I didn’t want to return to skating. I hated it. I finally had a way out of the sport.

When I left skating, I had almost no friends, although there are still one or two girls I remain friends with today. I broke up with my boyfriend I had met through skating, damaged the relationships I had with my coaches, felt as though I had disappointed my parents, and was left with a messed-up knee and a butt-ton of anxiety.

I don’t think anyone knew how much I struggled during skating or after leaving the sport. I don’t even think I understood how much I had struggled.

After sport, I had a difficult time with my identity. I felt completely lost and didn’t know what to do with myself. I don’t think life after sport is something people talk about enough, so I’ll save that conversation for another blog post.

I didn’t even know what mental health was until I went to college and began interacting with more people. Ultimately, these experiences led me to complete a master’s degree in sport psychology and a master’s degree in counselling psychology and to become a Registered Psychotherapist in Ontario.

If you’ve read this far, you probably need a refill of that coffee.

Thank you for reading.

If there is one thing I would like you to take away from my story, it’s that your life shouldn’t be only “eat, breathe, skate.”

It is important and healthy to have other interests and hobbies in your life. TAKE A BREAK, for goodness’ sake! Rest can be productive, too. It is part of the process. You don’t need to be on the ice 24/7 to be successful.

Taking care of your mental health and training your mind are just as important as your training on the ice. Your thoughts have so much power, so make sure the way you speak to yourself is encouraging, compassionate, and positive.

Believe in yourself.

Thank you again for reading.